Someone you know may face a condition like MS. We can’t know how they feel. But we can listen. Here is something you might hear if you chose to listen. After reading this story, if you are curious to learn more, try positivelivingwithms.com
**Please see the updated content at the end of this post.
This morning, I experienced one of those strange happenings when a song from long ago inexplicably found its way into my brain. People commonly refer to these as “earworms,” so how weird is it that the song was “Inchworm?”
Inchworm, inchworm, measuring the marigolds You and your arithmetic, you’ll probably go far. Inchworm, inchworm, measuring the marigolds Seems to me you’d stop and see how beautiful they are.
(Kids singing: 2 & 2 are 4, 4 & 4 are 8, 8 & 8 are 16, 16 & 16 are 32…)
I have no recollection of seeing the movie, “Hans Christian Anderson,” starring Danny Kaye, who originally recorded the song. I learned it in elementary school, the first time I joined a choir. But whatever triggered my memory of those simple lyrics, I’ve decided this might be…
The Medicaid expansion in Ohio helped 500,000+ of Kasich’s constituents, Saved many lives, provided healthcare to 40,000+ poor and unemployed VETERANS, provided drug treatment to keep people out of jail, Provided mental health treatment to thousands some of which would be in Jail, added thousands of new jobs to Ohio and boosted the economy. Kasich…
I’ve shared this story before, but for those who don’t know, when I was younger it wasn’t a requirement to attend kindergarten. Because of that, my first classroom experience was first grade. I loved my teacher, I loved my school, I loved my entire first grade life. Well, most of it.Two weeks into the school year I was sent to the principal’s office. Now you have to understand, I was a well behaved kid back then. Really, I was. For me to be in trouble was a big deal. My dad was a Drill Sergeant at that time in the military so I knew not to misbehave, and if I did misbehave…well, let’s just say it would be better for me to pack my bags and go live in the treehouse.
This post from fellow blogger fortygirl is a personal account about facing a life changing event. While there are many such stories, I am struck by the honesty and the transparency of her writing. I hope we can call upon others for support through times like this.
Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about things that aren’t particularly easy.
We’ll start here: a semi-colon is a place in a sentence where the author has the decision to stop with a period, but chooses not to. A semi-colon is a reminder to pause and then keep going.
In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By the beginning of May I was popping anti-depressents every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. In June, I had to leave a job I’d wanted since I first set foot on this campus as an incoming freshmen because of my mental…
Today my father would have been 77. He died from alcoholisim. I wanted to remember him today with this important message from 800recoveryhubblog. For family members of addicts.
Get well soon.
Part one talked about the 12-step fellowship called Al-Anon. As a quick review — Al-Anon is a group that can help a person who is in pain, caused by a loved one’s alcoholism or addiction.
But, what if you have tried five or six meetings and it just does not work for you? Or, what if you like it, but you feel like you need additional help? There are alternatives.
Therapy and counseling
Look for a counselor that has experience with addiction and/or co-dependency. This is especially helpful, if you prefer a one-on-one setting. Some people are shy, and feel more comfortable sharing their feelings in a private environment. But, if you like group support, there are group therapy programs too. If you feel that you have some issues other than co-dependency, individual psychotherapy or psychiatry might be a better fit. This is particularly important for people, suffering in a way that is treated by medication.
Support of Friends and Family
These people may not have a therapeutic background, but they love you and know you best. Confiding in your loved ones can provide tremendous relief. It can be beneficial to talk to people who can be straightforward with you and point out things, that your might have missed. Just make sure you are honest about what is wrong and they will give you that “second pair of eyes” that you need. I find it interesting that many times, you will share your burden with another person, only to find out that they have been through something similar.
By searching for articles, chats or online groups regarding addiction and co-addiction, you can gain a better understanding of your own behavior. One word of caution, take the information in small bites, so you do not get overwhelmed. I particularly like the .gov sites. They are straightforward and typically un-biased.
If you like reading things on paper, rather than a screen, go to the library. Educating yourself with books on co-addiction, co-dependency and addiction, can help you understand the causes of the condition. It’s easier to find a solution when you can fully understand the problem. By educating yourself you can start to put the pieces together and see the big picture.
Being around an alcoholic or addict (who refused to get help) is like breathing in second-hand smoke. After I while, it is going to bother you. It is hard to feel confident and strong when you are living with someone who does not want to get better. Sometimes space and distance can help you focus on yourself. It’s healthy to get a new perspective and realize that you can live your own life.
Get out of Denial
Many people justify an unhealthy relationship with an addict, because they truly believe that the person is going to die, without their aid. Also, it is easy to get lost in the other person’s problems and focus all of your energies on their addiction. It feels comfortable not having to look at yourself. From personal experience, any money or support I received while “using” just made me worse. I got help after my family, severed all ties and literally “hid” from me. I’m serious. I am so grateful they had the strength to practice “tough love”. They still feel bad about it, but I thank them all the time, for it was a gift.
Look at the following to test your enabling scale. Do you do any of the following?
Failing Responsibilities. Inattention to work, parenting, friends and other responsibilities. Putting your things on the back burner every time the loved one had some drama.
Failing Emotions. Do You find yourself becoming anxious with anger, worry, depression, and fear over the other person’s behavior? Your feelings are enmeshed in theirs.
Self-Care. Are you neglecting your looks and hygiene. You don’t buy new clothes, put off getting a haircut and constantly eat unhealthy? This is because of all of your energy is spent on the addict/alcoholic. You find little time to shower, brush your hair, teeth, or take care of your personal appearance the way you like or the way you used to.
Lying and Keeping Secrets. You find yourself making stories to cover up for the other person’s behavior. You lie, because it is too embarrassing to tell the truth.
Not enjoying life. You feel unworthy. You used to play sports, read, dine, and watch movies with friends. You don’t do those things anymore, because they are not enjoyable and/or you do not have the time.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you will get mentally and physically ll. But I have found that when the pain gets bad enough, you will be motivated to find some relief. If you still don’t know where to turn ….simply contact the author at 800 Recovery Hub.
Seven years ago, when my first marriage of fifteen years unexpectedly went belly up, I was involuntarily launched on what Joseph Campbell calls the Hero’s Journey. There are other names for this kind of experience. The writer Elizabeth Lesser calls it the Phoenix Process. Dante called it “the dark woods.” Whatever you call it, it’s a time of upheaval, pain, and eventually, transformation. And to be sure, the year I spent ending my marriage and recovering – perhaps from the marriage as much as the divorce – was one of the most powerful and potent of my life. I still look back on it with a sense of respect and awe.
What I didn’t understand for a long time, though, was that the year of my divorce was only the opening act in a much longer voyage. Life had a great deal more in store for me than merely the…
There are many ways to get mentally tougher apparently, but according to licensed marriage and family therapist Claire Dorotik-Nana there are five things we can all stop doing right now that will promote our mental robustness:
1. Stop Off Loading Responsibility. Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and feelings. No one makes us feel or act a certain way, we all make choices.
2. Stop Taking Things Personally. Realise no one is out to get us and that the world is not against us.
3. Stop Forecasting. Stop wasting time thinking about, forecasting or predicting the future.
4. Let Go Of Illusions. Accept there will be good and bad and things will not just work out in your favour always.
5. Stop Holding On To The Past. Letting go of the past means facing losses, but it also means finding opportunities available to us now.
I don’t know why I am writing this; it likely will never be read by any other person. I am doing it entirely for myself, in memoriam
of a life well lived, a son sorely missed and greatly mourned.
Some would say his life was too short, or that he never had a chance. . .oh what might have been. . . .
I say he lived his life as fully as any man woman or child on this Earth. It was his life, and it was complete, and it was perfect.
The excerpt above taken from Michael Lynes’ book talks about inspiration as frankly as one might depict it. However it doesn’t tell us what to do. It isn’t about self help. And while it doesn’t preach to us it also makes no attempt to tell us how to think. Yet think you will when you read about the life of a child taken so pitilessly from a loving home.
So how can the experience effect you, reading about the great triumph and tragedy of strangers? It reminds some of us that life’s precious moments are not to be wasted. It teaches others to act before it’s too late. Why do so many people seem to fret away infinite numbers of hours accomplishing nothing? For each such soul how many others can we point to who never get the chance, their total existence not extended beyond childhood?
I’m struck with the thought of a person who chooses to do the absolute least for everyone and everything thing they encounter, and you know who I’m thinking about, because you’ve met ’em.
Is it okay, do you think? What must we say to them?
I will say this to myself. Do not forget, not for a moment. Redeem the time.
We are very happy to have MONALISAMS as a contributing Blog author. I believe this will represent a fresh perspective on subjects that matter to our readers. Here is a description of the monalisams Blog to give you an idea of what you might find there.
“This blog is about my personal experiences dealing with multiple sclerosis, or MS for short. My experiences are probably unlike those of any other person with MS, because both the course and the symptoms are different in each person.”